Sunset Clouds

絵の具で描いたような夕焼け雲。

夕焼け空を見上げると、ふと寂しさがふくらんでしまうのは何でだろう？

Now I know...

It's not so important which way I need to choose but it's more important to do my best on the way which I chose.

どの道を選ぶかより、選んだ道でどれだけやるか。

Just do what I can, with what I have, where I am..

自分にできる事を、自分が持っているものを使って、今の場所でやればいい。

The path

If you are walking in the woods, suddenly the path splits into two different roads, which one would you chose? The one covered with grass that few people had taken or the cleared one that many others had already walked down?

I had chosen the less traveled road since... when? ....... why?

It's because I didn't want to have ordinary life by making the same choices others make or I just expected that I could have more valuable or more satisfying life by even taking a risks or taking more time..... or I was just brave enough then, had courage to do it? don't know..

Going to Canada, it made all the differences, I even stayed there for 1.5 years. After my full life in Toronto, that made me back to Japan to live ordinary... real... life there, I felt something like that..

Somehow I felt something uncomfortable, something wrong staying in Japan after a year.. even I was with my family, friends and had a job there. I felt living life there was a little bit boring and no excitement. I though there was another place where I could lead my life more happier and enjoyable..

Sometimes I wonder about my life.

Now I am here.. In coming to Australia, I will never know which path is better. I suppose I chose the less traveled road though. I feel that I am a bit tired of walking this way, I wish I could find a shortcut... is it because of getting old? or am not brave enough anymore? or Is it time to make a choice?

No, not yet.. I only walked halfway through the path, still there's another half left, need to walk to the end of the road.

I can stop walking anytime, 'cause I am the one who choose the way... but not yet..and not now.

Where am I going?

Down the road... it's still freezing cold at my favorite place.

Hope the cold winter will be over soon.....

Keep in Touch

I went to Sean's 1st Birthday party today.

He is one of my baby at my work place. When I started working at the centre, at the same time he also started attending the centre 5 days a week, he was only 6 weeks then. I remembered he was a tiny tiny little boy, I couldn't even know how to cuddle such a tiny baby and was very scared of giving him cuddles.. I've been seeing him and learning from him since then.. so that there is full of memories of him and his parents till now...

He just started talking nowadays, his first word was "Light". He always points at the light on the ceiling at the centre and keeps saying "Light" "Light" "Light" with the perfect pronunciation of "L" Sometimes... points at me and says "Light!" For him, everything is "Light" now..... that's very cute anyway!

Look at his big smile! He knows he is a birthday boy today and seems to be very happy surrounding with lots of people at the party.

But I have only few more days left to see his smile 'cause his family is moving to Brisbane in one week... very sad news though. I hope he will be a good boy at new centre!

Almost a year have passed since I started working at the centre... we have normally 15~20 babies everyday but only few babies who have been attending for a year with me.. because some of them just left the centre because of house moving, parent's job... and some of them just moved to the next door, toddler's room so on...

It's very sad that I can't see their smiles if they leave the centre... but.. on the other hand, there are new babies on a waiting list to enrol... so I still can see new smiles though.

And... not only the babies, but my colleagues are leaving the centre at the same time... there are some reasons that they are leaving but why it's always at the same time...??? Is it time to move on for everyone...??? but I am still here.

But It's almost time to say... thank you and see you again to them.

"Treasure every encounter, for it will never recur" - keep in touch!

Home Town - Furusato

2年の月日が色々な変化を故郷にもたらしていたけれど、
2 years of time brought a lots of changes to my home town,

昔らか何も変わらずにそこにあったもの、大きな黄色のリュックを背負って黄色の帽子をかぶ った小学生の笑顔、
but children's big yellow backpacks, hats and their smiles have never changed since my childhood,

それから友達の変わらない笑顔。
And there were two more things that have never changed.... my mum and friends, their smiles were the same as I remembered.

それだけで満足。
I was just happy with that.

Sunrise

Sunrise at 7:28am

It's very cold here but it's perfect weather.

The rain brought the beautiful sunrise this morning.

Nothing special is very special

I often come across the very special moment when I work with children, especially with babies.

One day, one boy, he is 11 months, was standing against the wall, then in a few days he was tottering hesitantly into my waiting arms. Then another few days he was off and running, leaving babyhood behind...

Babies develop physical abilities so quick and that is amazing at the rapid transformation.

There is nothing I can do to encourage the baby to take his/her first step. Maybe there are still something I can help them to take their first step as a childcare worker, giving body massage or physical activiies for them, but normally babies start walking without learning from others, even from parents..

Baby's first step is a developmental milestone that most parents never forget. But I sometimes felt very sorry for the parents that they missed their baby's first step if it happened in a childcare centre...

Well... what I want to say is that.... everyday is special...?!
even if it is not a good day for me. Maybe there is a reason that it's not a good day for me..

My daily life here is very simple, I could say every single day is passing uneventfully, go to school, work, do assignment, then somehow it's already time to bed...

I feel the day is gone very quickly....

But I am healthy, have no physical defect, can work, can study, can meet friends, have fun... it's normal life but these simple events are very special for me and must be grateful for being healthy.

Well....again! now I have no idea what I am writing... ;-)))
Too much wine!

Need to stop now :-))

Rainy day - Ame no furu hi

やっぱり私は雨の日は好きじゃない。
I don't like rainy day

どうしても雨の日は寂しい気分になってしまう。
It makes me feel very lonely.

今週は月曜日からずっと雨が降っていて、なかなか止む気配がしない。
It has been raining since last Sunday and it seems to be raining tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and....

いつになたら雨は止んでくれるのかな?
I have no idea when the sun is showing his face..

......???



Now I know..... the sun needs a long holiday sometimes, too ;-))

Henna - Body Painting

One of my classmate painted Henna for me.

Henna is a flowering plant which is native to tropical regions of Africa, India and the Middle East.

It is regarded as bringing blessings, love and is painted for luck as well as joy and beauty for women :-))

Life

It's 21 May 2008.

I'm now sitting in front of my computer with a glass of white wine and looking back over the past 2 years and writing this..... because it was 2 years ago, 21 May 2006 that I came to Sydney.

I remember that it was a beautiful day.....
When I got into the airplane, I was a bit nervous and excited.... to visualize my new life at new place.

But I had nothing..... no family to be with me, no friend to talk, no particular place to live, no work to earn.... just had nothing. I had only one-way ticket and a little hope that my life here would be meaningful.

2 years have passed since then... and I'm still here.

Now, I have a place to live. It's a small flat but very nice. I really like my place, especially the view from the window. In the early morning I can see the beautiful sunrise and the amazing color of the sunset in the evening. And It's just 10 mins walk to the beautiful place, Balmoral Beach. I often go there and spend my time to read books and just to relax.

I have friends to talk. My friends make me smile and give me hugs. They always help me be more myself. They are very special and important for me, always lots of fun with them. If they were not my friends, I was not here.

I have a work to earn. It's not only for money. It's for enjoying and it's my reward. Children are very true, honest, pure and smiley so that I can be more honest with myself in front of them. I realized that working with children is something special in my life and that's a part of my life here.

A lots of things happened, a lots of changes in my life since then....

But why am I still here.....?
My life, It's valuable but not easy and still something missing.... but not sure what it is...

Believe... "Tomorrow is another day".
No one day is like another, each day is special and has its miracle.

No one knows what is going to happen in the next few minutes,
So I have my foot on the ground and just go forward.

Because I'm still searching myself.

What is the meaning behind my smile....

I have a question.... why do people smile?

It seems that it's a very simple question but very difficult to find out the true reason of each person's smile...

People smile for all kinds of reasons. But I think that only one simple reason why they smile is showing their happiness. When I see someone's smile, I just think the person is happy at the moment. I cannot read his/her true minds but I think smile is a signal of happiness for everyone and it's body language only using your lips!

Someone said to me long long time ago,
"Start out the day with your smile if you want to be happy."

I don't smile all the time, of course.... if so, I am just crazy... ;-)

So I'm now asking myself... why I smile....
what the meaning behind my smile is......

.....is to make friends comfortable?
.....is to be polite to others?
.....is to be likable?
.....is to make others smile?
.....is to hide my anxiety?
.....is to hide my worries?
.....is to hide my fear?
.....is to hide my shame?
.....is to hide my sadness?
.....is to be happy?

and...... is to be strong?

I'm still not sure. I can't explain why I smile....
It's because in that moment I feel something with my heart, not my brain....

But most my smiles are always started by another smile....
So I smile at someone back.
And I'm sure that it's the way to show my expressions of love and happiness.

Do you know what the meaning behind your smile is??

Go for a walk to find new places

It was a beautiful weather today...

I walked down to the Balmoral Beach for a walk this afternoon, just brought a book, camera and some biscuits....... with me.

The water of the ocean was very clear, it was blue-green color by the reflected the sun...

I sat down on the rocks and read a book for a while..... then I found a map in between the pages. It was the walking map to Middle Head which I got from Mosman library few days ago....

I just thought that I can go to the Middle Head now. I always looked at North Head and Middle Head from the point, but I've never been to both these places....So, now I have a map and it seems that it is not far from the beach, maybe I can walk there.....

I just started walking to head to the Middle Head. I walked up to the green hills in the fresh air... about..... 1 hr and half... it was long way... actually.











Headland Park..... It's really nice place, great harbour views from the lookout point.

Then, walk through the Middle Head Oval.

Finally, I got to The Sydney Harbour National Park. It was already 3:30pm. I left home at 12:00pm though....

I was a little bit rush to look around the park because I wanted to back home before the sunset.... so that I went back the way I have come... But I noticed that there was a shortcut to the Balmoral beach on the other map I got at national park.... I was just wondering why there was no information about the shortcut on the first map... anyway I needed to chose the faster way to back....

But It was just 30 mins walk to the Balmoral Beach for return using the shortcut.... How come??

The sun was still up in the middle of the sky....

Now I really wanna go to the North Head, but not on foot...

日本酒 - Japanese Sake

昨日、友達が日本食レストランに連れてってくれて、久しぶりに日本食を楽しみました。シドニーには数え切れないほどの日本食レストランがあって、たいていどのレストランもいつもお客さんで一杯。

My friend took me to Japanese restaurant for dinner yesterday, I enjoyed Japanese food after long time..... There are countless Japaneses restaurants here in Sydney and always full of customer in all of the restaurant... Maybe it's not all... hehe ;)) but the restaurant I went yesterday was full of customer anyway!

アサヒスパードライに始まり、サーモンのお刺身！

Started with the best Japanese beer, Asahi super dry and Salmon Sashimi! Nice combination!!

冬がもうそこまで来ているシドニー、お店の入り口から冷たい空気がお店に漂い、何となく日本の冬、それからお母さんとお父さんを思い出しつつ。。。。

The winter is just around the corner here.... so that ｔhe cold fresh air came into the restaurant from the front door, it reminded me of the cold winter in Japan and...... hot sake... and... mum & dad.

最後は熱燗でくいっと温まって, ほろ酔い加減で店をでました。

We had some hot sake at last and it made me warm and slightly drunk...
Cold night = Hot sake = :))

And...
Thanks for the great time.

From Children's Book

Today, when I and Klaudia walked down to the George St, we came across one book shop lined with lots of children's book. It seemed to be just new opened recently and it was a discount book shop so that we just looked in at the shop.




We looked around if there were good and cheap children's books there....
And I bought 2 books, both of them are really nice book and cheap!

If you are asked "What is Peace?", How do you explain it to children??
This is a book I bought today....

What is Peace?

Peace is giving, Not taking
Peace is sharing, Not keeping yourself
Peace is listening, Not arguing
Peace is comforting, Not turning away
Peace is building, Not breaking
Peace is playing together, Not spoiling the game

And Peace is.........

Children's books are always very simple and easy and clear, of course! But there are still lots of things I (we?) can learn from them, even as an adult....

And they can be my good English text books as well :)))

Vice versa...

昔、不器用な私に、ある人が言った言葉。

周りにいる全ての人に好かれる必要はない、
You don't need to be loved by everyone around you,

その全ての人を好きになる必要もない。
Also you don't need to love everyone around you.

でも私は、私が好きな人達には同じ様に私を好きでいてもらいたいと思う。

But I want to be loved by people who I love.

わがままな願い。。。。なのかな？

Am I selfish?

だから、その人達を一生懸命、好きでいようと思う。

So, I always love them as much as I can and................vice versa, I hope.

今、傷ついている友達がいる。。。 これ伝わるといいな。。。

Let's take a walk - sanpo ni ikou

The bright sunlight from the window woke me up this morning, it was around 7:50am. So I went to the living room and looked out of the window. Yes! The sun was showing his face finally :)) I was Just happy, the sun just made me happy in the early morning. It was just simple thing but it was really meaningful for me.

So, I was thinking for a while.... what I could do today..... except for filling out my workbook. Maybe....... I can take a walk to the beach...

I & Ania were planning to go for a cup of coffee this afternoon (that's what we usually do on weekends), so I just waited for her coming back from her work and we went for a walk to the beach with a nice cup of coffee and nice chat with her.

There is a small island at the Balmoral Beach, it's called Rocky Point Island, it's very nice spot where you can see the North Head in front of you. We sat on the rock and chatted and chatted and..... chatted.

It was not special event but...... it was still special for me.

After coming back home, Ania went to swimming pool (she is very tough!!) and I just read the book on the sofa at home (I was just very lazy...).

And... we had guests tonight, Ania's brother and his wife, Peter & Julia. They just came over our place for dinner. It was surprise visit but Ania cooked Polish food very quickly and luckily....I didn't need to do anything 'cause...... I backed cheese cake yesterday for..... no special reason.... but it could be nice desert for them today. I was lucky :)

It was nice & eventful day, actually.

That's kinda.... The early bird catches the worm :)) Maybe!

4月の雨... shigatsu no ame..

雨がずっと降り続いている。雨はどこか寂しさや孤独感も一緒に運んできてしまった様な気がする。

It has been raining since last week. it seems that the rain brought me sorrow and loneliness together.

でも、止まない雨はないから、、、と友達が言ってくれた。

But my friend said to me... there is no rain that never stop.

だから、雨が止むまでゆっくり雨宿りしてみようと思う。

So... I'm going to take shelter from the rain for a while till it stops...

I'm not alone...

Here is my best friends who make me happy all the time.

So, hope I'm not alone here....

Life is....

There are two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is miracle.

The other is as though everything is miracle.

-Albert Einstein -

After 2 weeks school holidays, I started school from this Monday. And I've got 2 assignments for 2 weeks subject which is about...... Support Children's rights and Safety within duty of care. Actually this subject is a little bit heavy........ 'cause it's about child abuse...

One assignment is written assignment, the other one is....... group presentation again. But I got great partners, Klaudia & Tomomi.

Today, Barbara gave us time to prepare for the presentation due on next Thursday so that I and Klaudia (Tomomi was absent!!) started researching about our presentation 'domestic violence' on the Internet.

When we were searching web sites one after another, we came across one quote with my favourite picture which was written by Albert Einstein.

It's the above.

"Miracle" - a lucky thing that happens that you didn't expect or think was possible.

I like the word, "Miracle".

And..... my favourite perfume is called "Miracle" :-)))